and my aim is very clear to eliminate me and restore my sight. If this done in this life ok if there is another one and if I am still blind and I recognize it then I shall try again.
Did my brother knew my aim - I do not know. I did not hid it from any one but it is very clear anyone who has met me for a while - he or she would know I am continuously struggling to achieve something - it is not like every other persons - struggling for honor life or survival.
Chhorda told me that he is struggling for life even though he knew it is not under his control but he is determined to put up a fight.
If he didn't he would have survived. But that was not to be - it was not intended.
I can of course blame all who killed him - his siblings colluding with his Physicians to loot his possession. Of course they did succeed. Again it was intended it could have been otherwise.
When someone puts a loaded gun on my head - I may or may not struggle to survive and it is not under my control - it is the intention - truth.
Every event in this world is intended including my thought a hyena's thought and an ants thought. It is deterministic automaton.
I am a deterministic automaton without control - it is truth.
There truly clear sky and light that reflects on me that I can't see eclipsed by me. Can truly truth be eclipsed by me - my life long collections of events that I wear as my intelligence.
No.
I get occasional rays that I do not understand. I do not stop my self from understanding the ray or event. My life could be instantly heaven - literally - the open sky all beyond description beautiful forever new forever virgin and never memorized by any and not seen by me or read by me or witnessed by me.
I made my last attempt and told Chhorda for once read Vivek Chudamoni. My mind was truly clouded but I knew what appeared snake and concluded as snake by people surrounding him - he must ignore - he must not be gullible but see truth for himself.
He must have seen the truth in his last breath that his treatment caused his death and it was hopeless - his relations his physicians his friends and he himself could not prevent it - truth can't be prevented - never.
Hope is sure sign of despair. Truth is all clear without a shadow of doubt.
Truth is knowledge but knowledge what?
I know without doubt that I don't know. Life after life I can't afford to be blind that is scholar and apply knowledge unto me and start understanding instead just see in the clear sky without knowledge and recognize it is worthless for my purpose for my rest of my life and any number of my lifes thereafter.
Sky is meaning for truth - it means 'I don't know'. No matter what instruments exist and created and how many people see through them sky is not known but I only create clouds, layers after layers, and I succeed in not seeing the sky - truth. Of course Truth exist and always even if I am senseless, mindless. 'I don't know' always exist.
There is a sky in me it unites with the sky outside me.
My senses are clouded I see Chhorda's mind clouded too even though he is clear Sky.
Did my brother knew my aim - I do not know. I did not hid it from any one but it is very clear anyone who has met me for a while - he or she would know I am continuously struggling to achieve something - it is not like every other persons - struggling for honor life or survival.
Chhorda told me that he is struggling for life even though he knew it is not under his control but he is determined to put up a fight.
If he didn't he would have survived. But that was not to be - it was not intended.
I can of course blame all who killed him - his siblings colluding with his Physicians to loot his possession. Of course they did succeed. Again it was intended it could have been otherwise.
When someone puts a loaded gun on my head - I may or may not struggle to survive and it is not under my control - it is the intention - truth.
Every event in this world is intended including my thought a hyena's thought and an ants thought. It is deterministic automaton.
I am a deterministic automaton without control - it is truth.
There truly clear sky and light that reflects on me that I can't see eclipsed by me. Can truly truth be eclipsed by me - my life long collections of events that I wear as my intelligence.
No.
I get occasional rays that I do not understand. I do not stop my self from understanding the ray or event. My life could be instantly heaven - literally - the open sky all beyond description beautiful forever new forever virgin and never memorized by any and not seen by me or read by me or witnessed by me.
I made my last attempt and told Chhorda for once read Vivek Chudamoni. My mind was truly clouded but I knew what appeared snake and concluded as snake by people surrounding him - he must ignore - he must not be gullible but see truth for himself.
He must have seen the truth in his last breath that his treatment caused his death and it was hopeless - his relations his physicians his friends and he himself could not prevent it - truth can't be prevented - never.
Hope is sure sign of despair. Truth is all clear without a shadow of doubt.
Truth is knowledge but knowledge what?
I know without doubt that I don't know. Life after life I can't afford to be blind that is scholar and apply knowledge unto me and start understanding instead just see in the clear sky without knowledge and recognize it is worthless for my purpose for my rest of my life and any number of my lifes thereafter.
Sky is meaning for truth - it means 'I don't know'. No matter what instruments exist and created and how many people see through them sky is not known but I only create clouds, layers after layers, and I succeed in not seeing the sky - truth. Of course Truth exist and always even if I am senseless, mindless. 'I don't know' always exist.
There is a sky in me it unites with the sky outside me.
My senses are clouded I see Chhorda's mind clouded too even though he is clear Sky.
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